Randomly my new girlfriend was over last night, along with the rest of my friends. She finally decided it was time to go home, over an hour after her parents expected her home. Well... low and behold, as I walk her to her car, her dad pulls up. Talk about awkward, but he was cool about it and we had a brief conversation. Later that evening, I called her after she got home and he wanted to talk to me some more and it's crazyto say the least. Not the circumstances I intended to meet anyone's parents but yea... it worked out ok I think. Anywho, it still bugs me... I wish I wasn't so damn afraid to let anyone in, but everyone who has beenleft in has been hurt, if not tortured by me. I dunno, I'm a cancer. I truely feel unfit for relationships, and I carry my scars much like my heart, on my sleeve.
Right now I feel truely lost. Once again confronted by the hardest question for me to answer, who am I? There is very little in my life that I have a passion for. It leads me to question if I even know who I am, or if I'm just stuck in a rut of what I'm used to doing. I know so many things I like, but there is so little I can say I love. Without passion we're cold and selfless, I need a spark, something to make me strive for greatness. I'm just rambling... eff it I'm out.
:: Jeremy 12:40:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: 9.25.2007 ::
Just finished watching Pan's Labryinth, good flick. I will be buying it soon, not amazing but it was very good. Definately worth seeing, and I'll be buying it before too long. That's been my afternoon, besides getting some chinese food and hanging out with Matt for a bit. Matt is kinda grossed out by sushi but I dig it, theirs wasn't that great tho. Anywho, that's about it. my up to the minute update on the life and times of me.
:: Jeremy 2:52:00 PM [+] ::
...
wow... I've grown distant once again but continue my attempts to resume blogging. It's been nearly a month since I was last here. Some things have changed, some things will never change. My life is ok, nothing exciting really. I've gotten closer to some friends, even picked up a g/f (albeit it's a strange situation, and one I'm not super excited and into, so what if I protect myself a little), but what bugs me most is that a few friends have grown to what seems a more distant relationship. It's ok, it's life... my heart still skips a beat and I still want to drop everything for certain people, and I really do love it when someone thinks of me and calls. It's nice to know you're not alone in the world. Anywho... off the emotional stuff.
Mumu's been good, I just got word from one of the companies I deal with that the much anticipated Diablosport Predator hand held tuner should ship by the end of the week, so I should finally have the device by next week, after almost 2 months of waiting and delays. Other than that, she's closing in on her 9k oil change very soon, actually too soon. I'm certain I'll go over a few hundred miles as I'm taking a trip this weekend but she'll be ok. As long as she doesn't hate me for it we'll be ok ;) Yes, I'm silly and talking about a car... haha.
Had a few wicked dreams in the last few. Seemingly common is a "running" theme, or one that I'm always being chased. "they say" that dreams of that nature are often because you're running from something in your life, hiding your feelings, or just under a lot of stress. I know why I'm running, I know what is giving me my dreams but there isn't anything I can do about it. The way I see it, nobody is dying in them so they aren't bad by comparison. Last night I had a good one. I was in some kind of giant puzzle, think SAW without the gore. It was football related. It started off by throwing a football through a hanging tire and breaking a jar which held the next clue. The clues we're crazy, written from the football's perspective. It was something like this "Ouch, that hurt, am I cut and bleeding? Proceed downstairs and await your next challenge." So I did, and it was essentially a "pick a hole" through a wall of paper scenario (think American Gladiators). I picked one, ran through and got the next clue. So on a so forth. Last clue I remember was "I do hope you're having fun, I'm having a blast. SAW me to find the next clue." To which I sawed down part of a wooden ladder and atop of it was some heavy leather gloves and a note that said... move the barbed wire, it's cold outside. I like when you punt me through the cold air, I feel like I can fly. So I did that, and then when I went to pick up the ball there was a note that said. "I feel like a kid again, thanks a million. Lets go inside and take a break, you've worked hard today. See you tomorrow...." Then I woke up... don't ask... no idea where it came from. I wasn't running and nobody died so it was good IMO. Anywho, that's about it with me. I'll post more later I guess. FINALLY RECORDED PAN'S LABRYINTH so I'll watch it later :) :) :) Yay! I'll critique it later I guess, I think I'm gonna <3 the movie, we all know I <3 who recommended it to me ;) BTW... miss you :oP'
:: Jeremy 10:53:00 AM [+] ::
...